If I went by and Kaz was not home so that I could spend time just with Connie I was secretly pleased. I couldn't possibly summon the courage to make a pass at her; but as I would learn she knew I wanted her. She had the insight to know it was as a function of access and proximity to a woman as much as from any infatuation; not very flattering but she nevertheless enjoyed my attention. In retrospect I think Kaz knew that I lusted for his wife but was bemused and in no way threatened by any notion I might make a cuckold of him.As the evening ticked into the waning hours of 1959 the kids and Kaz came in; pot roast (or hotdogs for any recalcitrant child) was served with mashed potatoes and gravy, then cake and ice cream (never too cold for ice cream). I was somewhat surprised but felt quite adult when I was offered a bottle of beer which I accepted.After the meal Kaz got out his bottle of flavored brandy and warmed himself with several shots. He also got out his concertina and played. I was able to talk my boss into letting me go to Tokyo to meet with some people there about an exhibit. But our travel budget is small, so all I could get them to pay for is my airfare, coach, of course. I told him I had a friend to stay with and could live cheaply. Pretty smart, huh?’ ‘So, who will you be staying with?’ I asked him with a smile. ‘I don’t know, I’m sure I could sleep on the subway…’ I grabbed his head again for another round of kissing. I clung to him tightly while he stroked my hair or my arm. I needed the physical contact to assure me it was really him next me. I couldn’t think straight. My mind was racing with excited thoughts I hadn’t dared to imagine before. We’ll be together for all those days and nights! I can show him around Tokyo, take him to the places I’d discovered in my many visits there. Make love to him on low Japanese futons and in big bathtubs. Hold him close throughout the night. I had been through four weeks in hell since I last saw him, and now.
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